Today I was on my way to the market and I heard this song for the first time. Everything was so quiet in the car and it was as if I could hear each word like a pin-drop. It's a song about losing ones mother.
Sometimes I have hopenings in my life ( hope + openings), when everything seems to sound, taste, and move me in ways that are more intense. Times when I feel my life and all thats around me at a cellular level. I used to call those openings a "vortex" until I realized that they are attached to a great sense of hope. They usually last for a couple of days, and sometimes they have themes.
As I listened to this song, of course I thought of my own Mother. My relationship with my Mom has not been without struggle. In fact, I'd say that our relationship has continued to challenge and develop me well into my adulthood and I imagine it will, until the day I die.
New revelations along the way have given me great hope that my mother and I can continue to build a meaningful connection before it's time to go, but if you listen to it, the part that really expanded my heart was the part where he says;
"So I'll sing Hallelujah
You were an angel in the shape of my mum
When I fell down you'd be there holding me up
Spread your wings as you go
And when God takes you back we'll say Hallelujah
I had a dream once. It was more like a shamanic journey where my mom took me to various vistas around the world. There were very few words, just images where she would point to certain things God made and we would look with wonder at all of the beauty that surrounded us..
We visited fields, valleys, mountains and forests, and when we got to the ocean we watched the huge moon over the water, and as she pointed to it, it begin to spin in the night sky, and it turned into the Body of Christ. For the first time in the dream she turned to me and said..
"Do you remember that we agreed to do it this way?"
I knew that she was referring to our life together here on earth.
Then she said,
"I eat the host each day so that I remember our agreement. That we chose to come and be with one another in this way, so that we would each teach each other the lessons of Christ."
My Mom is so simple, and yet so complex. She's a faithful Woman, goes to church each and every day, and has never once doubted Gods love for any of us. I, on the other hand, have struggled mightily to forge my own relationship to spirit.
When I woke, I had tears streaming down my cheeks. I was deeply impacted. I felt that I had been with her in this way for real. That somehow I had been given a gift from spirit that offered me a different perspective. Even if it was, in fact, just a dream.